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Section
13
Dialectal Behavior Therapy for Self-injury
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In
the last section, we discussed four aspects of a self-mutilator's ability to form
relationships which includes: a lack of a workable medium for relationship; the
factor of low self-esteem; keeping friends at a distance; and the result of shame
from past abuse.
In this section, we will examine the various
methods by which self-mutilators avoid discussion in therapy: a blank slate; deflecting;
and a false self.
3 Methods Self-Mutilators Use to Avoid Discussion in Therapy
♦ Method # 1 - Blank Slate
As you know, self-mutilators are extremely
reluctant to discuss their issues when they are first introduced to a therapist's
office. This is what is known as the blank slate. Lin, age 15, had come to
the United States from Hong Kong with her father who divorced and married another
woman only a few months after their arrival. Lin's mother was left in Hong Kong
and was never sent for. Understandably, Lin resented this new woman and was soon
referred to me after fainting in the hall at school. The nurses reported seeing
bruises on her hands. When Lin first came to me, she sat silent and angry for
several minutes.
I asked her short questions to try and express to her that I
understood her feelings. I said, "You look unhappy." When she looked
away, I stated, "You don't want me to see your unhappiness." She then
looked down at the Chinese-English dictionary in her lap. I then said, "You
want the book to talk to me about you." She slammed the book down. I said,
"You are mad at the book."
She finally said, "I am mad at me! My
self is no good!" By breaking this silence, I had established a means of
open communication. Lin soon related to me that her step-mother and father hit
her hands, but she had also inflicted beatings on herself as punishment. Her eventual
recovery could not have been possible had not the first moments passed in silence
and overcome by brief questions and observations.
♦ Method # 2 - Deflecting
Now that
we've looked at the blank slate and the use of silence, another mode that self-mutilator's
use in therapy to avoid talking about their problems is known as deflecting. This
occurs when the client continually changes subjects so that the discussion never
comes back around to them.
If they don't acknowledge their problem, it won't exist
anymore. Fourteen year old Carrie was referred to me after she had been hospitalized
for making a severe cut at her elbow joint which severed her tendon.
The following
conversation demonstrates Carrie's ability to divert the topic of conversation to anything but herself:
-- "I want you to tell me about the bad feelings
you have."
-- "I feel all right now."
-- "You don't always
feel all right. When you don't, what do you think about?"
-- "I don't
know."
-- "Well, what about when you get angry? Were you angry when
you hurt yourself?"
-- "I don't get angry at anybody. I don't attack
anybody."
-- "You attack yourself, so I know that you get angry at yourself."
-- "That's
not the same. That's not real anger. Real anger has to include someone else."
As
you can see, Carrie skillfully skirted around my direct questions about her to
pick at nuances in the discussion. Her deflecting tactics was her way of keeping
the self-injury from surfacing and revealing itself to her.
To
make Carrie be more direct about herself, I became more direct in my questioning,
"You aren't aware that you are angry at yourself. You don't want to be aware
of that. Cutting yourself is like screaming out that you have painful feelings
and angry feelings." Carrie's next statement was, "I must be a bad person."
I assured her that she was not a "bad person", but that she did have
complicated feelings and I told her that I would help her to interpret these feelings.
Carrie soon became more involved in the sessions and became one of my most talkative
clients.
♦ Method # 3 - The False Self
Thirteen year old Chastity exhibited another form
of avoidance tactic known as the false self. This is the method in which the
self-mutilator talks a great deal, but says nothing of value. Chastity was referred
to me after being caught burning herself on a radiator in the girl's bathroom.
During her first session Chastity talked lively for twenty minutes about the various
feelings she had experienced during the day. Her preconception before entering
my office was obviously that therapists like to hear about people's emotions.
However, the emotions she was conveying never reached the root of the problem.
Whenever I asked her a question, she quickly agreed with me, even when the next
question contradicted the first. I soon realized that only a direct question about
her injuring would help to focus Chastity. Instead of asking general questions
about her emotional state, I asked, "What were your feelings at the moment
you burned yourself?" For the first time, Chastity was speechless and didn't
know what to say.
At last, she finally opened herself up saying, "I didn't
feel anything." I than asked her, "Is that what you wanted, to feel
nothing?" She replied, "Yeah. It was like I was feeling everything up
to that point, but when I burned myself, and it didn't hurt, I thought everything
else went away." By being direct and not allowing Chastity any way to put
up a false self to distract me, I was able to help her in increasing her awareness
of her feelings at the time of the burning.
♦ Technique: Using an Authoritative Posture
As you are aware,
therapists are told to avoid "reaching in" to their clients and taking
an active role in their healing. This philosophy stems from the idea that in becoming
too involved with a client, the client will be unable to heal themselves. While
this idea is valid, I believe that current familial structures of many of my clients,
such as a single parent home or an abusive one, and the lack of much-needed support
systems necessitates a more supportive and active role on my part, while still
letting the client have as much free reign on their healing as is appropriate.
In the early stages of therapy that we have discussed in this section, I find
that taking a more authoritative posture allows the client to be more trusting
of me. Because many clients come into therapy barely trusting themselves,
the image of a strong leader to guide them is comforting and leads them to a more
positive view of healing. However, the same caution must be taken that a client
must become totally dependent on themselves by the time recovery has come around.
Without this, the self-mutilating client is more likely to regress back into their
self-destructive behavior.
In this section, we discussed three
methods by which self-mutilators avoid discussion in therapy: a blank slate; deflecting;
and a false self. With the blank slate or unresponsive client I used short statements.
With the deflecting or evasive client and with the client exhibiting the false
self, I used direct focused questions.
In the next section,
we will examine five different challenges teen self-mutilators face when going
through the final stages of recovery: self-blame; the fear of incomplete analysis;
the danger of over-analysis; explaining scars to peers; and regret.
Reviewed 2023
Peer-Reviewed Journal Article References:
Adrian, M., Berk, M. S., Korslund, K., Whitlock, K., McCauley, E., & Linehan, M. (2018). Parental validation and invalidation predict adolescent self-harm. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 49(4), 274–281.
Courtemanche, A. B., Piersma, D. E., & Valdovinos, M. G. (2019). Evaluating the relationship between the rate and temporal distribution of self-injurious behavior. Behavior Analysis: Research and Practice, 19(1), 72–80.
Fischer, S., & Peterson, C. (2015). Dialectical behavior therapy for adolescent binge eating, purging, suicidal behavior, and non-suicidal self-injury: A pilot study. Psychotherapy, 52(1), 78–92.
Fox, K. R., Harris, J. A., Wang, S. B., Millner, A. J., Deming, C. A., & Nock, M. K. (2020). Self-Injurious Thoughts and Behaviors Interview—Revised: Development, reliability, and validity. Psychological Assessment, 32(7), 677–689.
Kliem, S., Kröger, C., & Kosfelder, J. (2010). Dialectical behavior therapy for borderline personality disorder: A meta-analysis using mixed-effects modeling. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 78(6), 936–951.
Swart, J., & Apsche, J. (2014). A comparative study of mode deactivation therapy (MDT) as an effective treatment of adolescents with suicidal and non-suicidal self-injury behaviors. International Journal of Behavioral Consultation and Therapy, 9(3), 47–52.
QUESTION
13
What are the three methods self-mutilators can use to avoid discussion
in therapy? To select and enter your answer go to .
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